Summer vacations are over, and I'm back to school for my first day of my second time in first grade. Just like in the other timeline, Elliot is in my class again, which is a relief.

However, this school year promises to bring some new experiences. After finding our sitting places and putting our stuff away in our desks, the teacher calls out our names in alphabetical order. My last name is about halfway down the list, and she eventually reaches it.

"Andrea?"

"Here!"

I immediately feel a number of eyes turn towards me. The people I was with in kindergarten only knew my nickname for the most part, and everyone else is probably wondering what my gender actually is. I start feeling a bit uneasy, but thankfully their attention quickly shifts as the teacher moves on. She didn't ask for clarifications in front of the whole class, so I breathe a sigh of relief.

Why am I so resistant to the idea of being seen as a girl? At first, I thought it was because I used to be a guy and still saw myself as one, for the most part at least, but I started realizing that I was off the mark there. I don't mind my body as it is right now, and I don't feel conflicted or hurt when I tell people that I'm actually a girl. If anything, there's something exciting and satisfying in dropping that on them, like I'm playing a game with their expectations.

So something else must explain why I feel worried right now. I had some time to think it through during the summer, and... I think I'm scared of Elliot and I drifting apart if he starts seeing me as being too girly. I've seen in my previous life that, while this is not an absolute rule, mixed-gender friendships tend to fall apart as we get older. I'm concerned about the sculpture, of course, since he's going to invite someone else in this timeline if I'm not his best friend anymore, but more than that, I can't stand the thought of letting him go. He was and still is very important to me, and I want to make sure I can get our relationship back to the way it was, no matter what.

Am I overthinking this? Maybe, but it's hard to guess how Elliot will react if I start spending more time with the other girls, since that didn't happen last time.

Another part of the worry is that I'll go back to being a boy eventually, so I don't want to pick up habits that would seem weird when I do, or get too attached to any elements of my feminine self that would make me hesitate when I get the opportunity.

It's a bit funny to think that I ended up being the biggest unknown of this timeline. I can't even be confident of the decisions I'll make in the upcoming years. For now, I'll stick to my plan of being a tomboy for as long as possible, and hope that's enough.

I'm in a bathroom stall, taking care of my business, when I hear someone enter. I took the habit of hiding in the stall until the other person leaves when that happens, mostly because I don't want anyone to give me strange looks, but I have to hurry up if I want to get back in class before the next lesson starts.

I finish things up, then open the door and head to the nearest sink. As I wash my hands, I hear a voice behind me:

"Hey, this is the girls' bathroom!"

I calmly dry my hands on my shorts before turning around and responding.

"Yeah, I know."

The girl accusing me of being in the wrong place is not in my class, but she's in first grade too. I can't remember her name at all, but that hardly matters since I'll never see her again once I'm done with elementary school.

"Then why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm a girl."

"... Really? Then why do you look like a boy?"

"That's how I like to look."

She stays stunned for a few seconds, then asks:

"Do you... do you wish you were a boy?"

What a pickle! I'm literally planning the whole rerun of my life around getting to wish to be a boy again, but I can't just blurt that out, I'll look insane even to a fellow 6-year-old. So should I just lie? I might come to regret it. In that case...

I shrug, then respond:

"Something like that, I guess? It's not important right now though, I don't mind being a girl."

There! I didn't hide that I'll eventually wish to be a boy, that I can wait before that happens, and that being a girl is no big deal. I assume my position is going to change once I hit puberty, but I'm not there yet.

She brings her hands to her mouth as she audibly gasps, then runs out of the bathroom. I didn't expect this to be such a shock to her, but I at least managed to get through this. Hopefully this doesn't cause issues later.

Despite these events, my life stabilizes and I find a routine as I go through first grade. I come across as an exceptional student due to how quickly I pick up on the teacher's lessons, but that's really just because I remember the basics from my first life.

I still play with Elliot daily, and we even started adding other boys to our games. I remember being friends with them in the other timeline too, but since they ended up going to another middle school than us, we lost contact in our teens. One afternoon, however, as I'm sitting in the shade alone with Elliot, he asks:

"So... You're a girl, right?"

I look at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out how he feels, but he's as inscrutable as ever.

"Yeah. Got a problem with that?"

"What? No, no. I'm just surprised. I guess I can't really see you as one."

Perfect! If he can't see me as a girl, he won't get worried to be seen with me, or anything silly like that. My plan is working just as expected.

"That's fine, you don't need to. Just see me as me, okay?"

He smiles and nods enthusiastically.

"Okay!"

A few weeks into the school year, we finally get our first physical education class. I was wondering why it took so long, but we were told that the teacher had a pretty big accident just before the school started and they couldn't find a replacement, so they decided to just convert the PE periods into normal lessons until he could come back.

Now that I'm going through this again, I have very vague recollections of this also happening in the other timeline. I guess I was too young for something like that to really stay with me as I got older. I won't complain, however, as this allowed me to, so far, avoid yet another dreaded experience: getting changed.

The teacher claps her hands to get our attention.

"Okay, class! Since we don't have dedicated changing rooms, the boys will go get changed in the gym, and the girls will stay here in class, understood? So please, boys, grab your clothes and get in line."

In my previous life, I got changed in the gymnasium. This time, however, I need to stay here. Which means that everyone in the class will get complete confirmation of what my gender is.

Oh well, I knew this was coming, so all I can do is go through it without making a fuss.

As I'm pulling my shirt over my head, someone next to me exclaims:

"Woah, so you really are a girl?"

Now shirtless, I turn in the direction of the voice.

"You weren't sure?"

The girl I'm talking to is Orelia, one of the few here who will make it to the same middle and eventually high school as Elliot and I. In the previous timeline, I barely had any contact with her as a kid, and even less so as a teen. I remember thinking she was cute, but only after puberty made me attracted to girls.

Since she's already changed, she starts pulling up her dark blonde hair to tie it up as she says:

"Well, it was a question here, and in the other classes too. Izzy says she saw you in the girl's bathroom though."

Izzy? She must be the girl who confronted me on the first day of school. I guess people have been talking about me, then.

As I pull my PE shirt down and pass my head in the opening, I ask:

"Why does it matter, anyway? What's the difference between being a boy or a girl?"

A few of my classmates who were listening in look at me in shock. Orelia responds:

"Well, you know... it's about what's between your legs, and..."

"No, no, I know that. But if that's all it is, then maybe it's not something that really matters."

My remark seems to have confused them, as they stare at me in silence. Whatever, I'm done changing, so I head to the gym.

With my gender not being much of a mystery anymore, the school year continues on without much deviation from the new routine I picked up. I get the occasional snarky comments from both boys and girls about my appearance, with the former telling me I'll never be like them, and the latter telling me that trying to be a boy is gross, among other derogatory words. Thankfully, my friends stick with me despite it all, and the frequency of the comments never reaches a point where they become truly annoying or hurtful.

I did get bullied a bit in the first timeline too, but it was for not being athletic enough and preferring video games to sporting activities. Only the boys gave me any trouble for that, so the girls being mad at me for having short hair is a new experience. Last time, as I got older, I also started getting bullied for not playing popular M-rated games and mostly sticking to Nintendo's output, so I wonder how that's going to manifest itself this time around.

Kids will seriously find any reason to bully each other, it's pretty depressing now that I think about it. I know that's going to stop being an issue once I enter middle school at the very least, assuming no major deviation from the previous timeline, so I can find solace in that fact.

Despite me staying silent about the comments I'm getting, I learn that my teacher still noticed the situation during a parent-teacher meeting:

"Academically, your daughter is doing exceptionally well. She's incredibly smart, so much so that she routinely helps the other students in my stead when I'm busy. She also started carrying more advanced books, demonstrating a drive to improve her language skills further, so that's very good sign for her future."

I actually just got bored of the simplistic children's books I had so far, so I started grabbing novels from home and the school's library to keep me a bit more occupied during reading periods. I get that this is making me stand out, but I couldn't stand pretending to struggle with books written for young kids anymore. The teacher continues:

"However..."

I see both my parents tense up, unsure of what to expect.

"... she seems to have some issues with her classmates, who pick on her and make fun of her boyish appearance. She's been taking it well so far, mostly ignoring them, but I'm worried this might have adverse effects on her self-esteem as she grows older. Forcing her to be more feminine is out of the question, so the best we can do is support her through the bullying."

While my dad seems to be deep in thoughts, my mom slams her palm down on the desk and asks:

"But you're the teacher! Why are you not stopping them?"

My teacher shakes her head with a resigned look on her face.

"I made my class as safe as I could for Andrea, but what happens during recess or after school hours is out of my control. And..."

She passes a hand through her hair, unsure of how to proceed with that thought.

"... as much as I hate to admit it, the school's direction is very lax when it comes to dealing with bullying. They have a 'sticks and stones' approach so, as long as it doesn't get physically violent, they'll turn a blind eye to it."

My mom is still angry.

"That's outrageous! How can they let this happen!? I..."

I pull on her pants to get her attention, causing her to go silent and turn towards me.

"Mom, I'm fine. It's okay."

She sighs in response and sinks back into her chair. This time, my dad speaks:

"Is there anything more we can do?"

"We can't do much more than provide love and affection to her as a way to counteract the bullying. Still, it might be good to be on the lookout for signs of escalation as she grows older and moves through the grades."

"I see... Thanks for letting us know."

My mom leans towards me and asks:

"Why didn't you tell us you were getting in trouble with the other kids?"

I try to withstand her gaze, but end up having to look away as I respond:

"It's not a big deal, really. I just ignore them."

She grabs me and lifts me up to her lap before hugging me. I hug her back, with my dad and the teacher thanking each other in the background.

Once we're back home, I get ready to sleep. As I close my bedroom light, I hear mom's voice from downstairs, talking to dad:

"There has to be something we can do for Andrea."

"Well, it seems to still be pretty mild for now. Didn't you go through something similar as a kid, anyway?"

"Yes, but we can't be sure she's going to alter her style and become more feminine just because that's what I did."

Uh? Mom used to be a tomboy, too? Is this a change introduced by this timeline, or was it like that before Elliot's wish? I can't remember hearing about it at all.

"Well, we'll have to see where she goes from here, right? Try to not let it get to you too much, especially right now. You need to take proper care of yourself. I'll take care of it if things get worse on her end."

"Ugh, you're right. No point in worrying about it now. I'll go to bed, then."

Is mom sick? Well, it's not like that never happened last time, so I'm sure she'll be fine. I climb on my bed, pull the covers over, and close my eyes.

One weekend morning a few days later, as I go down the stairs in anticipation for breakfast, I see my mom laying down on the couch, a damp washcloth on her forehead. Dad is nearby, checking on her. I approach and ask:

"Is mom okay?"

She opens her eyes and slowly lifts herself up to a sitting position.

"I'm fine, I was just feeling a bit nauseous. I'm better now, though."

I stare at her, trying to find possible signs of illness.

"Are you sick?"

My parents look at each other. My mom smiles.

"I think we can tell her, dear. We were going to announce it to the rest of the family soon, anyway. She can know ahead of time."

"Yes, you're right."

My mom rubs her belly a bit before looking back at me and saying:

"I'm going to have another baby. You're getting a little brother or sister."

I feel the world slow down as I hear these words. Another kid? I guess it's normal for couples to want to have more than one kid, but...

I was an only child in my previous life!